…… that I have acquired a rather large case of …… sidewalk rage.
I’ve never actually heard that term, but I can definitely attest to the reality of the feeling.
And I’m not alone.
Here’s a perfect example:
OK, maybe I’m not that bad …… yet.
But only because I haven’t actually hit a car like that …… though I’ve definitely thought about it.
I can confidently say that most New York drivers (not all, but most) are the rudest drivers on earth. The second their red light turns to green, they’re honking at the front car for not anticipating that change before it occurred.
And/or they’re honking at pedestrians who are just standing on the curb …… I guess that’s just in case one of them decides to throw themselves off of the curb and into the oncoming traffic.
But the thing they do that drives me crazy (and other pedestrians) is trying to make a right on red, when we (the walkers) have the right of way. Just like the cab in the above clip. They try to sneak, or barrel, their way through the crossway like they own it.
And while I have never punched a car, I have given the evil eye quite a few times.
Those of you who know me, know that’s a pretty scary sight.
Sidewalk rage is not limited to anger against drivers.
In fact, it’s probably not the drivers who cause the most amount of rage.
It’s other pedestrians.
More specifically, tourists.
Now, I’ve been a tourist in this city many times. So I get it. Most of the time.
Up to a point.
For instance, if I have to walk around, through, or close to, Times Square, I keep the rage at bay. I know that’s the biggest tourist spot in the city (world) so I expect people to act like
And I give them a pass.
But in other areas of town, like around my neighborhood, there are no passes.
Being a tourist does not give someone the right to act like they’ve never walked on a sidewalk before. Or to act like they’re the only people on that sidewalk.
I walk like a New Yorker.
I’ve always walked like a New Yorker.
It doesn’t seem fast to me, but I’ve heard complaints over the years (I’m talking to you, Dawn!). I don’t know why I walk that way, anymore than any of you know why you walk the way you do.
My children seem to walk fast, too.
I’m guessing they had to do that, in order to survive any family vacation.
And make it back home.
Here’s what clueless tourists do (in no order of rage-inducing):
-They walk 3 to 5 abreast …… taking up the entire width of the sidewalk, making it difficult to pass them by without knocking one of them to the ground (no, that hasn’t happened …… yet).
-They walk along and then suddenly stop short, causing anyone behind them (who’s most likely been trying to pass them) to either run smack into them, or run into someone else while trying to dodge them.
-If it’s raining, they seem to think they’re the only people who have a right to hold an umbrella, thus not moving theirs out of the way for an on-coming umbrella.
-They tend to stop at the top of an escalator. I know!!!!
-They tend to stop in doorways, thus blocking said doorways for others trying to walk out, or in.
-They walk very, very slowly.
-They expect all traffic to stop while they take a picture of a pigeon. (Now, I will stop for most picture-taking. I’m rarely in a hurry, I just walk fast. But if you plan to do a photo shoot on a NY sidewalk, you’re on your own. And good luck.)
-They take pictures with the Naked Cowboy. ‘Nuff said.
So yeah, sidewalk rage.
It’s something that just seems to come over you when you move here.
At least that’s how Daughter #3 explained it when she told me she had it.
See? I’m really not the only one.
If you come to NY, just be careful.
And try to not block the sidewalk, OK?